Monday, January 18, 2016

Dirty Food: Mushroom Resolution Update I

Since the last post I have eaten mushrooms. Like, a lot.

I began at the store. I stood in the unfamiliar area of the produce section (the section that holds the things). They started to swarm me like Hitchcock creatures. I needed help.

I found the oldest person in proximity. I asked her to teach me about mushrooms. In a very thick german accent, tells me the portabellas were good to marinade and grill. Tells me about the others that she and her daughter used to find in the forest, didn't have them at the store. Can make a nice sauce with those.

So I grab a pack of baby portabellas (they are right in the middle. That was how I chose). My plans are to use Julia's recipe. A trusted ally confirmed that they are the best. I sautee them in pounds of butter. I don't overcrowd the pan. I let them brown. I add shallots. I deglaze with brandy.

I eat them. I make other people eat them. "Yeah, this is how they should taste. But, you know, on a steak or something. Not just on their own." We watch "Gaslight." I think I'm crazy to try and convince myself of liking the thing I don't.
Next I eat a burger, sans bun, with bacon and cheese. Mushrooms under cheese and bacon are great. They taste just like bacon and cheese. Crazy.

I also try Chinese take out. Beef with fresh mushrooms in brown sauce with vegetables. I don't like. I put mustard all over. I like mustard. I don't like when they pop between my teeth.

Am starting to get concerned with the nutritional content of mushrooms.

I go to a restaurant in town. I drink a lot. I ask if I can just get a side of the most popular mushrooms and steak with sauce, hold the steak. Drumroll, and wowza.

I like these. I actually want to eat them like they are a food. I ate almost the whole bowl. So my conclusions so far: I am still terrified, but I have had good experiences with porcinis.

Neophobia in regards to food is that you need to try a new food at least 13 times before you like it. I will continue trying and doing math. Please send more ideas and recipes.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Dirty Resolution: Mushrooms

Pinterest has printable forms to make your resolutions. Because making one is too easy, we must make lists of Many Things that we will fix about our selves. We will be complete this year. We are incomplete if we don't do all the things! So I filled in the blanks. Watch me fill in the blanks!

A NEW FOOD TO TRY! I will try all the foods with mushrooms until I find one I like. The neophobia theory (regarding food) states that it takes 13 exposures to an untrusted food before you can like it. I don't trust mushrooms (for many reasons). They are nature's zombies.

More importantly, when I was little, my dad once made portabella mushrooms for dinner. He told me they were Dumbo's ears. Terrified, I had to sit at the table until I finished them. It fucked me up.

Please suggest restaurants or recipes that will make me like mushrooms. I want to learn to like them this year. I mean it, send me a message on the forum you've read this, or leave a comment below. I need suggestions. And I'm all ears.

A BAD HABIT I WILL BREAK! I will not zone out when listening. I will improve my active listening skills!

A NEW SKILL TO LEARN! I need to learn to forgive faster, better, harder.  Below is a note from a midterm class evaluation. I asked all the student to write down, separately what they'd like to see me do more of in the class. I walk back into the room to see only a single piece a paper. It says "you are doing a fine job...."

I framed it. I must remember that I am doing a fine job, and chances are you are, too. If twenty-something twenty-somethings can agree on that, on one piece of paper, I can agree on that as well (in one long sentence).

A PERSON TO BE MORE LIKE! My student's son, he's 19 months old. He knows all the things I need to know. He is willing to throw tantrums when the pacifier doesn't work. I would like to be brave enough say screw it and throw a legit tantrum.

A GOOD DEED TO DO! Pay more attention to love. Don't be afraid to love because we as a society haven't gotten good at collectively defining it. Live by love, in love, with love, and all the prepositions of love. Be brave, because loving is being brave. 

Pay attention to things the way they are. Love them. Even if they are gross, they might be perfect.

A PLACE TO VISIT! The Outdoors. More. Always. Be brave and go outdoors more! 

A BOOK TO READ! All the books read by Don Draper. See link below. Finally read the scandalous Lady Chatterley's lover. Gasp. And Atlas Shrugged. (Ug).

May your 2016 be filled with all the things you bravely fill in your blanks with. May you learn to love a scary thing. May you be brave and self-soothe, and learn throw tantrum. If you throw too many, stop. Read all the books, listen to all the people, forgive and love until you split open with it.

(God I hate mushrooms.)

Mad Men Reading List:

Again, many thanks to the brilliant Leah for making me put a mushroom in my mouth and taking the pictures that I'm lucky enough to start the year with!